Always by your side.

Always by your side.

A snowflake landed right on her head, at the very moment when she opened her eyes. She lifted her head a little, trying to see where she was, but her vision was blurred. The snow is red, she thought a little surprised and let her head fall back into the cold pillow of snow, her eyes looking at the red area.

 

It was her blood that had stained the snow, but she did not know. Just as she did not know that her body lay in the middle of snow, while the icy cold crept into her bones. She did not feel it. All she felt was the fatigue that had spread over her body and invited her to sleep. She closed her eyes .

 

"Pia, wake up. Please! Pia." She heard the voice but tried to ignore it, but like a stubborn child he repeated the words again and again and urged her continuously. She opened her eyes and tried to figure out where the voice came from, but then closed it again when she did not succeed. "Pia, open your eyes! You can not fall asleep, do you hear me?"

 

Her eyelids opened as she recognized the voice. She wanted to reply but could not. "Prashay." She was not sure if she had actually said his name or whether the word was still caught between her lips, so she said it again. "Prashay."

 

"I'm here, Pia. You can not fall asleep! You'll freeze to death, you understand me? You have to get up and go back into the car."

She blinked a few times, and slowly the fog before her eyes disappeared and the image of the man bending over her, became clearer and clearer. Pia wanted to reach out to him and touch his face , but she could not.

 

"Rise! Pia, please." Prashay said insistently to her, again and again. She wanted to comply with his request, but had no strength to do so. "So tired." she managed to say.

"I know you're tired, but you can not fall asleep, not here! You have to go back in the car until help comes," he urged.

 

Pia knew she could not, but she could neither disappoint the man who meant everything to her.

She could not close her eyes now, she could not fall asleep, even if her body asked for it. " That's it, I know you can do it! Until the car. It is just a few steps and I'm there, I will help you."

Prashay did not stop to encourage her. It were his words that gave her courage and slowly she stood up, walking like a small child, ignoring the pain in her head.

 

Prashay was at her side, he talked constantly to her, inspired her and drove her to force the most out of  her body to reach the car. And by some miracle she managed to climb into the interior of the car.

"Prashay?" She wanted to show him that she had done it, she had reached the car. But more than anything, she wanted to see that, that desperate fear had disappeared from his eyes.

 

Prashay was sitting there, in the driver's seat. He watched, as her body trembled with cold, while a single tear slowly ran down his cheek. "What has happened?" Pia murmured and slowly leaned back in the seat. "We had an accident. We wanted to see the frozen lake, remember?"

 

Images flickered before her mind's eye. She saw herself insisting asking to see the frozen lake, while Prashay asked for directions to the Hotel Manager.

"On the snowy road, I lost control of the car and we got off the road. The door at your side opened somehow and you were thrown out. You were not wearing a seatbelt." She heard the words, but could not recall what had happened.

 

"You?" was all she managed to ask. He understood. In so many years of knowing each other, they built their love so strong and secure that it defied all external influences. They understood, every little gesture of the other and interpret it into words.

 

" I'm fine, Pia." he replied. He closed his eyes , partly to repress his tears and partly to prevent her from seeing the truth in them.

 

"Someone will come and help you. You just have to wait. Your head wound needs to be treated." " Yes," she replied.

 

"I love you." he whispered in a shaky voice. "Love you too," murmured Pia and took his hand.

 

"You're going to endure, promise me. Help will come soon. I love you. I wanted to give you something. It was supposed to be a surprise. It's in the glove compartment." She tried to reply but no sound came from her mouth, so she squeezed his hand lightly to signal her that she understood.

"I'm so sorry, Pia." he whispered as tears fell from his eyes.

He repeated the words again and again, but Pia did not hear.

******

A loud knock on the window woke Pia, she tried to raise her head, but could not. A man shouted, "Ma'am, are you hurt?"

 

"Prashay, they are here! Someone has come.." she said, squeezing his cold hand, but received no response.

 

The driver's door was flung open and immediately, several hands were there to help her out of the car. "Ma'am, you have to let go." One of the men pointed to her hand, which was still entangled with Prashay's hand.

 

"Prashay." she cried and tried to touch his face, but the paramedics carried her out of the car, while she desperately stretched out her arms to him and repeatedly called his name. She expected that Prashay would turn his face to her and give her a reassuring smile, but the seated figure in the driver's seat remained motionless.

 

The paramedics took care of her wounds and spoke soothingly to her. Someone asked her how the accident occurred, but she answered  unclearly and repeatedly tried to raise her head to see Prashay, but each time the paramedics would push her back on the bed.

 

"I want to see my husband." she cried, and looked pleadingly at the man, who avoided her gaze. She grabbed his wrist and repeated her request with more emphasis.

 

" Ma'am " began the younger of the two and put a hand on her shoulder. It was a gesture that somehow seemed helpless and Pia could feel her heart becoming numb.

 

She heard the words that her ears could not hear, she saw an expression on their faces that her eyes could not see, and she wished the sentences that were spoken to go away , but the words were ruthless, merciless.

 

"Ma'am, your husband is dead,  he died when the car roll over. His neck.."

 

Ignoring the pain, she cried loudly, "No, you are lying. He is not dead, he helped me to get back into it. He stood next to me.."

 

" Ma'am," the voice was low and calm but firm. "That can not be, your husband is.."

 

"No," Pia interrupted him with a high-pitched voice. " You are wrong, he is not dead. He got out of the car to help me. How could he do that if he's dead? How? How? You tell me! I want to see, please!"

 

They pushed her forcibly back to the bed and tried to calm the woman staring at them with an expression of pure horror.

 

One of them left the ambulance and returned a few moments later to quietly say, " You can clearly see the place where you fell, as you were thrown out of the car. You can also see your footsteps in the snow, when you are returned to the car. But, you can only see your footsteps. If your husband had helped you, then there should be traces to see. Ma'am, you have to.."

 

He stopped when he saw that the woman's eyes were filled with tears as she whispered, barely audible, "He said I have to get up. He said, I'll freeze to death. He.. He.. Oh please it can not be... " The tears ran down her pale cheeks as she repeated one word over and over:

 

"Prashay.."

 

 

*******

 

  

It was dark in the room. She stared blankly out the window into the night.

 

She had no more tears to cry.

She just felt cold and empty, as if all her energy, everything that identified her, everything she had once been, with her tears flowed away.

 

Her thoughts were always about what had happened after she had been thrown away from the car.

 

Prashay was dead and she would never see his face again, his eyes that she loved more than anything in this world, his lips so soft and sensual as he had kissed her countless times. Dark , thick hair that she would always play with.

She would now, never feel his arms again, never again feel his warmth.

She would never hear, "I love you," and feel his touch.

 

The questions of why Prashay had not supported her on the way to car and asked her to walk were answered.

 

He was already dead when she landed in the snow and yet he had saved her, had ensured that she climbed out of the deadly cold in the protective warmth of the car. Prashay was there, she had seen him, heard his words.

 

Everything was suddenly clear. 

And yet nothing made sense.

 

*********

One of the nurses had done her a favour and handed her the packet,

"I hope this is what you wanted. It was the only thing in the glove compartment."

 

She thanked her and turned the small package in her hands back and forth, before she dared to open it. The nurse left the room and closed the door quietly behind her.

 

When the paper was removed, a box appeared. With trembling fingers, Pia opened the box and saw a silver ring inside.

 

She took it out, put it carefully in her palm and closed her fingers around it.

 

She felt strangely warm. For the first time since she had been taken to the hospital, she felt something. The emptiness in her heart was filled with a warm feeling.

 

A note was folded into the box and as she read it, her eyes filled with tears.

 

Pia,

I belong to you, just as you belong to me. I will always be there for you, always be by your side, just as you are to me. You are the missing piece that completes my soul.

I love you.

Prashay.

 

She opened her fist and looked at the inscription that was engraved inside the ring:

"Always By Your Side"

 

It hurt her, so infinite and at the same time nothing had ever felt so wonderful. And she knew, she could do it. She would live.

Because Prashay wanted her to.

And because they would be reunited.

Eventually.

Someday.

Someday maybe..!!