Let her go

Let her go

 

"How is she?" Prashay asked the nurse. The nurse stood by the door, put her tools aside and came up to him. That was not good, if everything would have been fine the nurse would be extremely loud. A cold hand grabbed his heart and squeezed it painfully.

 

"It is time for you to let her go," said the nurse. All light avoided his gaze. There was just darkness. He could not understand what had happened. "All she still holds here is you! You would be left alone, this torments her and she fights all those forces which are trying to take her away. Let her go, end this agony and let her fall asleep. She is exhausted and tired!"

 

"No!" cried Prashay. "How can you say such a thing?" He slapped away the hand of the nurse and ran inside the room. He knelt down beside her bed. Pia had suffered a heart attack and needed an immediate transplant. Her heart was too weak to hold up anymore. He pulled her up and held her in his arms. 

 

She moaned lightly as he hugged her tight, but he did not notice. He did not want to let go, he would not let go and could not imagine that she wanted to go. Why this nurse said such a thing? He could not give it up. There had to be something the doctors could do. 

 

"Hey," she whispered softly. "What's the matter?" It tore him out of his panic and he let himself gently glide back to his senses. She looked at him with a long tiring look, then lifted her hand and stroked away a tear that had escaped from his eyes. "What makes you so sad?" she demanded to know. He looked at her with deep sorrow, "I cannot let you go, what would I do without you then? I will not let you!" He knew he could not keep her always, but what should he say; that it would be OK for him if she falls asleep forever? That would be a lie; he could not let her go!

 

"I know!" she said and smiled weakly at him. She dropped her hand, because it no longer had the strength to hold him. "I'm still here. You have not let me go!" She wanted to make it sound convincing, but she knew herself how weak her voice sounded. The forces of life had already left, they had flowed out of her and she could do nothing about it. She fought against it, but they would not come back. She knew that he was suffering because of her pain, but she was so tired that, she would prefer to put her body to sleep.

 

He looked at her and saw how tired she was. He saw the pain in her eyes and he knew somewhere deep inside that it was over. They had spent so many beautiful moments together, almost 50 years and he could not believe that it would be over now, but he also knew that he had to let her go.

 

He looked long, and then looked over at the nurse standing at the corner of the room who nodded to her. After a while she brought a few documents, which he signed and the nurse pulled the plug out of the ventilator.

 

Prashay lay down next to Pia and pulled her close to him. It felt good to feel his warmth. It had always been her strength, but now it no longer sufficed. She needed more. He pulled her more close to him and gave her a kiss on the forehead.

 

"You know what?" he asked. "No, what?" she replied. "I think we had a wonderful time together. I thank you for everything you gave me, have given me." There was a pause. He could no longer hold back his tears. "You were my refuge, we have often fought and still we have always kept together. You were always there for me, and did everything for me. Now it is my turn to help you." He swallowed his tears. "I'll let you go. I wish you all the luck in the world. At this moment you are the only thing that matters. Let yourself fall asleep. I will forever be by your side." She took a deep breath and wanted to tell him so many things, but all she could say was, "I love you" and with this last breath she closed her eyes and fell asleep.

 

Next morning the nurse came in the room. Prashay was still lying there, besides Pia. His arms held her tight. She tried to wake them up, but there was no movement. Both had turned cold. He could not let her go. Even on the path of death, he did not leave her and followed his love till eternity.